I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
