I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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