I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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