I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
