Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
