i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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