Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
