David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize