It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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