I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize