The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
