I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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