Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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