I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
