I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize