My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
