I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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