i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize