You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How does one acquire holy water?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
