I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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