No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
