just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize