I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
