your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
a search helicopter?!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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