two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
