apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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