I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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