Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
