I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
