Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
