Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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