yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize