no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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