you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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