We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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