Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
