I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
