Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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