If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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