This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I currently don't understand fingers.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
