so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
