Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize