the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
This house was built for laser tag.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize