The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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