just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
