It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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