I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
