she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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