woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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