is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
