I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize