you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
