Swine flu. Run for my life!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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