you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
