I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Ladies don't puke and tell
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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