so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
