He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My hand turned me down
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
