i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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