i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
