Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
