I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
