The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so let's talk penis.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
