I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
