You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This girl is more easily done than said...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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