me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
