That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
