Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize