and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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