dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize