Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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