so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
