i would punch a child for taco bell
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
