there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
