On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
