maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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