thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
