Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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