ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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