he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
