We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
