$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize