I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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