Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
